One of my facebook friends whom I haven't seen since high school posted a before and during/after photo of her impressive weight loss yesterday, with a comment that went something like "I am still hesitant to post this..." My immediate reaction was "What?! WHY? You should be damn proud of yourself!" Then I realized that she meant because she didn't want to share her "before" photos, even though that person was long gone.
I understand this. You don't want to admit that you ever let yourself go like that. You want to forget how you felt when no clothes fit and everything exhausted you. I understand because I've been there and back, and I'm there again RIGHT NOW. I have some "before" photos, and I don't have the courage to share them just yet. Outside of Spark, I haven't shared my actual weight, either. This is stupid, because when I'm watching one of those weight loss shows and the women are like "OMG DON'T TELL THE WORLD I WEIGH 400 POUNDS!" I always think, "Lady, we can SEE that you weigh 400 pounds! Who are you kidding?" So I'm going to start with putting a ticker here. As you can see, I've lost some weight, but I still have a long way to go before I hit my goal!
Forget about how far you have to go. I prefer to think about how far I have come. ;)
ReplyDeleteWhen I first started trying to lose weight last year I didn't want anyone to know my weight. I also had a co-worker who is a total dickhead, who essentially made fun of my weight to my face. Some balls, right? Anyhow, it made me so uncomfortable about my weight, and other people potentially knowing my weight, and it made me even more uncomfortable in my own skin than I already was. So I just didn't mention numbers.
ReplyDeleteBut after the shin problems, and gaining even more weight, something in my head snapped. Seriously, I was like "wow, I am a fat slob." Not in like a mean way, but because IT WAS TRUE. I couldn't go up the stairs in my own home without being out of breath at the top. And I think I just didn't care anymore what anyone thought of me, because I was thinking the worst of myself anyhow. So out came the numbers, and the photos, and to hell with what anyone else thought!
...of course it turns out that everyone was really supportive, and no one had anything bad to say (at least not to my face). And I'm glad I did it because it kind of made me feel more accountable. Like "Those numbers are out there, and unless they start going down, EVERYONE will know that I'm failing."
But anyhow, longest comment ever... for the record, I had no idea you were over 200. I kind of just thought you looked about the same size as me or smaller even.